Still Here... guh.

Hmmmmm... Well, I have no idea what's gonna happen in my life. I know what HAS happened and what IS happening right now, ... but beyond that, I have no definite plans. Just options. At least I have those, right? Haha. Nice. Is it wierd that I'm not really afraid? I don't LIKE not knowing, but I'm not scared. Is it me trusting God to carry me through like he always does? Or am I simply being naive... (curiouser and curiouser...) That's a refrence to Alice in Wonderland, by the way. I do that quite often. My mind makes wierd connections and tends to branch off to completely different subjects. Not to say I can't stay focused. It's just that, ... I have more than one train going at once. The concious and the subconcious are usually linked, then there's another train which exists only for my musings and amusement. *sigh* I'm a strange one.







And once again, I've distracted myself from the more serious subject to something completely different... wow.

No guts. No glory.

I either care about others more than myself, or I'm just a wimp. Maybe a little of both. Who knows? But both are serious character flaws. My life is about to change drastically. I want this change, need it desperately. Too bad my spirit is too weak to actually begin the transition from past to desired future. It's gonna take a straw to break my back, and that will be it. I'll explode. Everything will move at once, people will get hurt, and I'll be completely calm through it all ... just like every other time my life has changed direction. I'd expect it to be easier, since I've had to do this before, but it's not. I guess that answers my first question. Suppose I'm a wimp. Ah, well, admitting that you have a problem is the first step, right? Hah. Pray for me. I always need it.